Time heals all wounds?

after I cried I waited for it to get better.
I waited for it to get easier.
I waited for it to go away.
I wanted to forget.
.......
........
.
.
.
.
I can still smell you.
I can still feel you.
I can still taste you.
I still love you.



but.........
I hate you so much.
Even now
You still scare me.

Its not easy, but its worth it.

If you are strong enough to jump off that cliff because you feel so adrift
If you are strong enough to inject that needle because you feel so feeble
If you are strong enough to tie that rope because you have given up hope
If you are strong enough to take that knife and drain your life
If you are strong enough to swallow those pills and wait for them to kill
.............
...........
..........................................Well, then you are strong enough to live.

Sleep

Grey sky, Hallow eyes, Broken mind, Piercing cries
As I lay down to sleep tonight I think
I don't care, I really don't mind
I couldn't care less if I live or die

I'd love to die in my sleep but I can't sleep tonight

Good Bye and Good Luck

I'm just a lonely lost little phony boy, easily intimidated

Always petrified, terrified, terrorized.....can't look you in the eye

What would he say if he could see me now?

Stand up for yourself boy don't be a coward!

Well you made me this way, you wore me down

I kicked out, I was beaten back to the ground

I was broken hearted from the day I started

Good riddance to you, my dearly departed.

It Was Always You

 






It was always you, It will always be you.

Thinking, thinking, thinking..........torture.....

What happened to you?.........You used to be so buoyant, you used to be fearless
Now your all dismal, despairing, despondent and cheerless
Narcotics have a peculiar way of bringing a man down
Alas, I've been left with this permanent frown

I muse on what my erstwhile friends are up to
Reminiscing, remembering, me and you........
I refrain from that now, so what remains???
My ruptured heart all scarred and stained

I'm no raconteur, I just spit this shite so I can clear my mind

I'm no troubadour, but someday perhaps, I'll don my hat and be gone, just like that.

Mrs. H

Remember that night we first met?
I was lost and lonely
You drew me in, kept me warm
You had eyes for me only
Everybody warned me to stay away
You convinced me we'd be ok
You stole my heart, took my pain away
Please stay, please stay.................

You took my hand, you guided me
We set sail for paradise
Leaving all that I knew behind
A trail of destruction and a pack of lies
Floating on that open sea
Just the two of us, the stuff of dreams
You kept me warm and held me tight
On those dark and lonely nights

The tide was high, fun for a while
We were riding the crest of a wave
It was peaceful out there on that ebb and flow
I really thought I had it made
But then the tide started to turn
My stomach began to churn
I wanted out and I let you know
But you just hold on tighter, you won't let go

Now I'm fighting to get back to shore
But you beg me to stay for more
"Ok I'll stay. Just one more night
All is dark now, I can't see the light
You sailed me off to paradise
Our love affair was oh so nice
Now that we can't get any higher
You've brought me to you're lake of fire

This boat is going down
But you don't worry, you're still safe
You sit back and watch me drown
In you're black and fiery lake......................

Bye

You helped me through it, you helped me survive
Without you, I wouldn't be alive
I'd be a long time dead, hangin' from a rope
But you made it bearable, you gave me hope

What once saved me is slowly killing me
Now you bring nothing but pain and misery
My lover and my best friend
This relationship needs to end

I'm so scared to let you go
You are all I've ever known
You were good to me for a long, long time
Now its time to say goodbye

Of course I'll miss you, you are so warm
My heart is cold, it can't weather the storm

Remember?

Down and out in Paris and London.......Remember?

Now its all frowns and pouts in Dundalk and Dublin

Still pretending....Who am I?  to pretend.
Finding yourself when you're lost. Sounds simple.
Not so. Its fucking bloody difficult.
I am DYING to live.
Am I trying? Is it enough. My mind still brings me always back to you.
And its always delightful, forever the good times.
Before it went stale, sour, dour.......Remember????????????
Narcotics, histrionics, never philanthropic
Certainly not photogenic!
Some might say carcinogenic.
Ask Yasmine, I bet she remembers.
Ask my mother, she remembers.
You could ask my father but he is not the best talker.
Down and out in Paris and London......I remember.
Yeah. It was lonely, unholy and very fucking phony
Pure and utter debauchery...
Killing time, killing the senses.
Thats what I remember.
The Good stuff.

The Devils Tattoo

Frightened, alone

Black and fucking blue

Marked and Scarred

From the devils tattoo

The needle stings

A nice little sting

Its familiar

Its comforting

Ahh.. heaven

This is paradise

Lets see how ya feel

In twelve hours time

Stomach in Knots

Crying for more

Shaking uncontrollably

Writhing on the floor

You'll never win

This will be the death of you

You'll never beat

The devils Tattoo

You Tasty Little Devil

I have danced with the devil
Oh my, how he moves!
He don't stop for no one
There is fire in his shoes
We danced all the way to Heaven
I didn't have a clue
That he'd let go, I'd fall from grace
Left stranded here in this burning lake

I found comfort in the devil
He took my pain away from me
He'd pop round with Mrs. Brown
They made me feel at ease
It made my life worth living
But it was slowly killing me
They drew me in then they strung me out
Nobody wants to know you when your down and out

People walk on by
Nobody hears me cry
That same old look in their eyes
Contempt or fear

I still think of that devil
Though he turned my life upside down
Still I yearn for just one more yarn
With Mrs. Brown
"Look at what you've become"
Yeah, life is too precious now
I'm far to young to be going to heaven
There'll be no more dancing with the devil

Now people sometimes smile

Good Mixer Bad Mix

The Iranian beauty and the Irish tearaway

New years eve, she threw her cares away

She was warned from the start

"I'm no good, ask my blackened heart"

She said "Thats ok, I like bad boys anyway"

Gimme a Good Mixer special

Triple Jack and a shot of heroin

Where's the Swede when you need her

That crazy bitch kept things interesting

English girls look pretty from afar, then they speak

From her poisoned tongue come acidic words

She's spittin' venom, inflicting hurt

Cos' she's afraid of getting hurt

Do you still like bad boys??????????????????

Porcelain

I wonder, do you ever think of me like I do you
You could be happy for all I know
I hope you are
Is that true?
Yes, I'd like to think so

I can't trust my thoughts so I don't know


Porcelain I broke you
I'd piece you back together but the cracks would still be visible
It would never be the same
Anyway I've changed


Porcelain.....................?
.....................................................................

Porcelain..................?
.........
Where are you?
Your better than opium
Warmer.
Safer.
Sweeter.

Porcelain............
...................
..........................................
.....
........
.
I love you.

Chess is a Funny Fucking Game

Your nothing but a mere pawn in this game
Oh yes and what a funny old game. Chess
Spend all your time protecting that weak bastard of a King
But hang on in, you just hang on in there
A mere pawn can turn into an all powerful Queen
Funny that.

Lets Kill Our Time

A million little pieces
An little open book
Mind so frail, fragile
Your world is so fucked up

Sit back and watch yourself bleed
I'll lay beside you with my needle
Don't look at me with distain
We've just got different ways of killing pain

Killing time together
Time will always win
For now we have each other
Time will kill us in the end

We are one and the same babe

We've just got different ways to kill our pain

Don't cry for me, I'll laugh if you do

Go and save yourself, you can't help until you do

Hampstead Heath

Sirens, pushers, Camden fucking town

Punks and drunks and that silly greek cunt

Ugly crowds and its too fucking loud

At least its quite round on Hampstead Heath

This is my bench, is he gonna fucking move?

London looks pretty from up here, nice view 

Staring at our old apartment I never see you

Its lonely up here on Hampstead Heath

The wind whistles through the naked trees

Sometimes it speaks to me, I can hear you say "I love you"

I want to cry, my tears are frozen

Its cold out here on Hampstead Heath

I Do It All For You

I used to be so clean, not now
I,m dirty now
It's still not enough for you
You'll never be enough for me
But I can't ever get enough of You
On my knees I crawl to You
I scream and shout, I bawl for You
Oh....When are coming around?
Do hurry up Mrs. Brown

I've been thieving again
I do it all for You
You stole my heart
I hadn't a clue
Do You really take my pain away?
What fucking good do you do?

I hate You, I love You
I hate You, I love You
I don't want You, I need You
Stolen sunshine all is gone
Dark black clouded mind
I'm alone with You.

She Tastes So Sweet

She smells so sweet and tastes even sweeter
The after taste is so fucking bitter
She'll promise the world but never delivers
Instantaneous paradise, Hell forever

She needs to be contained
She's got to be tamed
She's so fucking ruthless
I'm sick of her games

The Devil loves a trier, she won't give up
Gets into my mind, lies disguised
Begging me, convincing me
It will be different this time, give me one more try
One more try FOREVER.

Love Ain't Real

Love has no meaning for me anymore
Said it too many times
Told too many people
Rhymed it off so much that its just not real
Will it ever be real?
Can I ever be real?

I knew a girl once
She sold her love to a desperate man
Her slender body served her well
Here at the gates of hell
Now its off to heaven on a crack pipe
Dreaming of a better life
She's such a dreamer, pretty too, pity though

If love can be bought and sold its just not real
Will it ever be real again?

The Dark End of The Street

Your on the wrong side of the wrong road
This is the dark end of the street
Angels come to sell their souls
Where hell and heaven meet
Take me on but you won't ever win
Gonna end up in defeat
Time waits for no man but You
Come on give a little time to me

I Have a Soul, You Just Can't See It

You can't see my soul when You look into my eyes

They're black and they're blank

A little dead around the outside

Love is a game I'm getting good at cheating at

Love is a game, Its not that easy but ya get the hang of it

Riddled with shame, I've got a friend and she helps me out with it

Still crippled with pain

She comes and takes it all away

Takes me away

I'll make you love me but I'l make You cry

Yeah You'll love me but You'll never, ever sleep at night

Take a look into these glassy eyes of mine

Can you see any truth behind the lies?

It's all lies

Darling, all I ever wanted was You're shitty little flat

All You ever wanted was for me to love You back

I only ever wanted a roof and bed

How the fuck could I love You when I hated myself?

Please tell me You love me

I hate myself

Please tell me You need me

I need help

You can't see my soul when You look into my eyes

They're expressionless, emotionless

I'm dying on the inside.

New Love Grows on Trees?

Here I lay my soul to bare
Emptying my head of everything and nothing
Passing time, much like before but less destructive
This is my drug now.

I still stare at you like I used to
Can you hear me when I talk to you…..when I scream for you
My blackened heart is warm again, pining for you
Weary eyed and bleary eyed I still cry for you
Rivers cascade down my sorry face
My tears will never dry without you

New love grows on trees???
Not ’round here Pete.